This is Your Life... Are You Who You Want To Be?

It seems all our lives we fantasize about being people we aren't. When I was little, I would dream for hours that I was an Animorph (animal morpher). I would hold my cat trying to absorb her DNA and later in bed, I would focus for hours trying to morph into my pet cat. Growing up, things changed but my desires only evolved. I wanted to be just like Meredith, she was beautiful, she wore all the right clothes, she did her hair perfect every morning, and even had a purse to match each outfit. Try as I might, I didn't have the patience or time to be that fashionable and I ended up as the cool new kid with braces and her hair pulled back in french braids (as seen in pic... not so cool). You think you get over it the older and (hopefully) more mature you get, but again, it just evolves. Now, I'm a wife to a wonderful husband, but I'm still not what I ever pictured I would be. In my mind, when I was going to be a wife I had a picture in my mind of a taller, slimmer and more glamorous version of myself. When I got married, it made me realize that life isn't always what it seems. What we see and what we want to see, can be two very separate things. Right now, the picture I see of my future is confusing. I wanted to go into Physical Therapy (DPT) which requires four more years of Grad School after this year. It also requires a min of $50,000, taking the GRE, interviews and countless costly applications, and eventually moving. I really can't do any of these because C's getting into a program here and can't afford to leave for the next three years. But I don't want to wait for those three years, because I find higher priority in starting a family sooner then later. In hopes of clearing hope some confusion and figuring out what else I could do with my Exercise Science major, I went to my academic counselor. Even after pulling the "pregnant card" (which I'm not... I was just hoping for sympathy points), she kept insisting that there was "literally nothing" that I could do with my major... Hmmm... so now what... was my whole college career a waste? I refused to take that as an answer... for crying out loud, how many stories have we heard where so-and-so gets an obscure degree in whatever and after some lucky break, finds their true calling in life. So I did some research for my calling... If I can't be a PT... what about a PTA (Physical Therapy Assistant). It only requires an Associates Degree, but after about half a year of being convinced this was my saving grace... I found out that Provo College is $30,000 too expensive and at SLCC you have to plan more than a two years in advance to get into their degree and don't even think about trying to transfer any BYU credits (because obviously every community college thinks they're Harvard). Anyways, I'm pretty sure that's not my answer either (stinks when each one feels so right...) But I guess those are the hardest decisions... it may not be wrong but is it the BEST choice?? So after long talks with family, other teachers, friends and C, graduation is still on. I guess sometimes in life, we just have to step in the dark and face the fact that we may not know what will happen. I'm not a huge fan of this method... but sometimes God wants us to reorient back to him, so he shows us that we may not know it all and can't control everything. That He may just know what will be best for us:) Anyways, that's life isn't it.

Oh, the places you’ll go! There is fun to be done! There are points to be scored. There are games to be won. And the magical things you can do with that ball will make you the winning-est winner of all. Fame! You’ll be famous as famous can be, with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.

Except when they don’t. Because, sometimes, they won’t.

I’m afraid that some times you’ll play lonely games too. Games you can’t win ‘cause you’ll play against you.

All Alone!
Whether you like it or not, Alone will be something you’ll be quite a lot.

And when you’re alone, there’s a very good chance you’ll meet things that scare you right out of your pants. There are some, down the road between hither and yon, that can scare you so much you won’t want to go on.

You’ll get mixed up, of course, as you already know. You’ll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go. So be sure when you step. Step with care and great tact and remember that Life’s a Great Balancing Act. Just never forget to be dexterous and deft. And never mix up your right foot with your left.

And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and ¾ percent guaranteed.)

Kid, you’ll move mountains!
So…be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray or Mordecai Ale Van Allen O’Shea, you’re off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So…get on your way!