If It’s Not Eternal, Forget It: In Memory of Bennett Scott Wilkinson (2009-2011)

       Taken from Deseret News Obituaries- "On Saturday, January 22, 2011, a Loving Father in Heaven tenderly took home one of His own. Bennett Scott Wilkinson, born May 31, 2009, brought more joy, light and love to the world in a mere 20 months than many experience in a lifetime. It was a privilege to call him our son. 
        He spread love and laughter wherever he went whether it was smothering his mommy with kisses, falling asleep on his daddy's chest for a nap, calling out to his sisters, Emma and Gracelyn, for morning bath time or playing "cahs" with his best friend and brother, Ashton.

      He was eager to smile, anxious to love, quick to laugh and ready to forgive. We will smile whenever we remember his obsession with all-things handles and the way his little body shuffled around the kitchen trying to sweep the floor for mommy. He was a gift. Simply a gift. We will forever cherish the scribbles left on our walls, the handprints placed on our windows and the etching he engraved on our hearts. He was here but a moment but will be ours forever. And with Bennett, forever won't be long enough.


       Anxious to see him again are his adoring parents David and Amanda Wilkinson (Centerville), his loving siblings Emma, Gracelyn and Ashton, his precious grandparents Scott and Stana Kjar (Centerville), David and Kris Wilkinson (Portland, OR) and Burton and Linda Grover (Pasco, WA) and his tender great- grandparents Stan and MaryEllen Smoot (Bountiful) and Noma Kjar (Centerville) followed by a host of doting aunts and uncles that loved and adored him. He was preceded in death by an uncle Rendell Wilkinson and a multitude of caring family members that we trust will watch over our little boy until we are with him again.

        We'll love you forever, We'll like you for always. Forever and Always Our baby you'll be. No goodbyes, just see-you-laters . . . xoxoxoxo"

        I cannot imagine the pain, anguish and anger one would feel when a loved one love is taken so abruptly away from them. It seems so unfair for a child so young to be taken away from such a wonderful family. There's no doubt that the night before his passing, little Bennett was put to bed with the greatest of love and a prayer on his young lips. So why then would the Lord take Bennett away and cause so much sadness? Why do we believe in a God when the trials to bring us closer to Him cause so much pain?

         People come into our lives for a reason; bringing something we must learn from them. But then one of the best yet hardest things they can teach us, is how to then let them go. You can never really know how strong you personally are, until being strong is the only choice you have. And once you make that choice you will realize that the Lord has not left you alone; He has been carrying you the whole time.

Amanda and Dave Wilkinson began their life together on September 11, 2001 in the Salt Lake City Temple. For many people, this day will be remembered as a terrible day of sadness and chaos. But for Mandy and Dave, it became their ultimate day of contrasts. Outside the walls of the temple, planes flown by terrorists were directed into buildings and many innocent lives were lost. However, within those sacred walls of the temple, Mandy and Dave made an eternal covenant to each other that would affect every day of the rest of their lives.

      Easy-going, with a quick smile and lots of kisses, Bennett was a light to all those who got to know him. Amanda and Dave are amazing parents with so much pride and love in parenting. Being around them makes you realize how much of a privilege it is to be a parent, more than a menial job, side-calling or something to complain about. They take great joy in the little things their children do and know how to laugh when life gets a little crazy. They smother their children with kisses and hugs, and aren't embarrassed to be the parents who cheer and clap the loudest when their child is on stage. Bennett was their gift from God and he knew it.

      You could see how much they loved and would miss him as they closed his casket. They took his feet one more time in their hands and kissed them. Mandy straightened his shirt and touched his spiky hair. They whispered sweet loving good-byes into his ears. And then they held on to each other tightly, shaking with sobs as they closed the casket lid slowly, knowing that this would be the last time they would see Bennett's body in this life.

       In the Book of Mormon, a prophet named Lehi, has a dream. In this dream he is led by an angel through a mist of darkness. Pausing there, one has to wonder why when following an angel, a prophet would have been led to a mist of darkness. Shouldn't following a heavenly messenger take you to some place much more glorious that a confusing darkness? After enduring this darkness, Lehi finally made it to a glorious tree that held delicious fruit. He realized that if he had not gone through the darkness, he would not have appreciated the fruit. Life has incredible twists and turns, peaks and pits. And one never truly appreciates the peaks until they have climbed up from the pits.

      In hindsight, Mandy called the day before Bennett passed, a perfect day. The night before that Bennett, a very heavy sleeper who would take two naps a day, woke his family in the middle of the night with screaming. His parents rushed in, confused with their son's sudden night terrors. They took him to their bed and he cuddled into his mother's chest holding her tightly all night long. When he awoke the next morning, he had a low grade fever as well as his brother, so everyone stayed in their PJs and cuddled and played games all day. That night when tucking him in with his favorite song, he was finally able to sing along. We think that the night before someone had come to take Bennett, but Bennett wasn't quite ready. He needed to give one more day to his family, and he made that one perfect.

      The next morning when Bennett's parents realized that the paramedics wouldn't be able to revive their son, Mandy fell to the ground weeping. It was the ultimate contrast to their happy and healthy boy, to suddenly lose him like this. But like the day of contrast on which they made those sacred covenants, they would now understand and truly appreciate the depth of love that the Lord has for us to keep us together for all eternity. They promised three things to each other: that this event would not break their marriage, their family or their faith.

        And as they stood up tall and proud at their little boy's funeral, you could feel the power of their testimonies burning inside your heart. They didn't just hope that the covenants they had made back in those sacred walls would let them see their boy again; they didn't just want it to be true. They knew it. God gave them Bennett for many purposes and he was their gift. They knew they wouldn't understand just why Bennett had to leave them so soon, but they also knew that Bennett had been their gift. He had blessed them with his presence for a brief time, but he would remain theirs' forever. There are no good byes, only see-you-laters.

       May you hold your babies tight tonight, and whisper sweet loving messages in their ears. Kiss their toes until you make them smile and tuck their blankets in snug around them staying up just a few minutes longer to say another "I love you". Hold them tightly when they cry over the death of their dog, and laugh with them as they discover the joys of new life in their puppy. Sing their favorite songs with them and don't be embarrassed to be the loudest parents cheering when they enter the stage. Please tell the ones you love just how much you appreciate them and why. Life isn't worth living, unless it's lived for someone else. May we all find happiness and love in the sharing of it, and may you look back to see Christ's footsteps instead of yours as He has and will carry you through life.


We'll love you forever, We'll like you for always. Forever and Always Our baby you'll be. No goodbyes, just see-you-laters… xoxoxoxo.